


One Is The Loneliest Number

by trancer



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Female Character of Color, Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-05
Updated: 2010-11-05
Packaged: 2017-10-17 23:23:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/182444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trancer/pseuds/trancer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Caroline, everything‘s changed even as everything remains the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Is The Loneliest Number

Caroline knows it’s just a dream.

Eyelashes fluttering against her skin like butterfly wings. Fingertips soft as feathers and just as light.

Lips.

Caroline has no words to describe her lips. The way they kiss Caroline, gentle, caressing, demanding. How they find all the important places, the ones that make Caroline sigh and moan and writhe. There are her hands as they move Caroline around, the pull of a thigh, then the other. Then those lips are moving down, over skin glistening with sweat and Caroline can feel the moistness of her breath as her lips part and breathe on Caroline - there.

And Caroline has to lift her head, she has to see. See the most gorgeous eyes in the world as they gaze up at Caroline, and those lips, those beautiful, indescribable lips touch Caroline there.

And Caroline’s eyes snap open at the arch of her back, the gasp pushing through her mouth.

Caroline knows it’s just a dream.

She slams her fist into the mattress, stifles the scream of frustration barreling up her throat.

It’s just a dream and Caroline’s had hundreds of dreams like these before. But that was back then before, well, everything changed. Before Caroline changed. When the eyes Caroline wanted nothing more than to look at her now looked at Caroline with distrust and contempt.

Caroline didn’t ask for this. She didn’t want _this_. And no one told her how different but the same everything would be. No one told her how the sensations would be a hundred times more intense, the cravings, the want, the ache.

The ache.

No one told her how much more it would hurt than it did before. Caroline thought she couldn’t feel more alone than she did before.

Caroline was wrong.

**

It’s been a week of maddeningly feverish dreams. A week of avoiding them all like the plague. She doesn’t use the words ‘friends’ anymore, Caroline’s not sure if they are.. or ever were. She avoids everyone except Tyler, because Tyler’s the only one who seems as alone as Caroline feels.

It’s Saturday. It’s raining and Caroline’s soaked to the bone because she’s been doing nothing but walking, and walking alone in the rain seems like a better idea than being home alone on a Saturday night.

She doesn’t pay attention, just follows her feet to wherever they take her. Had she recognized the neighborhood, she might have turned and walked the other way. Caroline doesn’t. Her feet don’t stop until she’s standing in Elena’s yard, hiding in the bushes like some creeper.

It’s like ‘couples night’ in the Gilbert home. There’s Stefan and Elena, of course. Even though they‘re still broken up as far as Caroline knows. Then again, what does Caroline know, it‘s not like anyone tells her anything anyway. There’s Alaric and Jenna.

And then there’s Bonnie, and Jeremy.

Before Caroline changed, she never would have noticed. Now, she can’t *not* notice. The subtle dilation of Bonnie’s eyes. The slight increase in her temperature and how it lightly flushes her skin. The skip-thud of her heart. And her scent - arousal and desire. Even now, just thinking of the way Bonnie’s scent changes and Caroline’s mouth begins to water, her heart hammers in her chest and something clenches hard between her legs.

But none of that matters, because the subtle changes in Bonnie aren’t for Caroline. They’re for _him_. Jeremy.

Instantly, the darkness takes over her. Her fangs extend instantly, almost painfully and Caroline tastes her own blood as they pierce her bottom lip. Her hands ball into fists because she’s nothing but anger and pain now. Everything’s different now. Everything’s the same.

Caroline still wants something she can never have.

She closes her eyes, inhales deeply until the rage subsides, the darkness recedes and all that’s left is the pain. Arms folding around herself, Caroline turns and begins following her feet again.

“Caroline?”

Caroline freezes at the sound of Bonnie’s voice. Bonnie sounding like she used to when she’d actually talk to Caroline. Like a molten hot blade, it sears as it cuts, slices through Caroline completely. Caroline turns around, even though every instinct within her is telling her to run.

Bonnie’s standing in the yard and Caroline can see every drop of rain as it splashes down onto Bonnie’s skin.

“What are you doing here?” Bonnie asks, concerned. Caroline can see it in Bonnie’s eyes and it makes Caroline’s lips curl into the slightest of smiles because Bonnie’s concerned about her.

“I..” Caroline stammers, shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know.”

Bonnie pauses, like she’s thinking about asking Caroline if she wants to come in. Her eyes dart back to the house, face going all guilty and Caroline sees, more than she ever did before.

Caroline glances up at the house, sees what Bonnie sees, the rest of them inside the Gilbert home, looking happy and welcome where Caroline is not.

“Why..” Caroline waits until Bonnie turns back towards her. “Why don’t you hate him like you hate me?”

“Caroline,” Bonnie sighs, shoulders falling, head tilting down. The invisible weight that’s been there since Grams died crushing down on her.

Caroline can’t help but step towards her, reaching out until the warm skin of Bonnie’s cheek is against Caroline’s palm, Bonnie’s lips against Caroline’s tracing thumb. “Why don’t you want me like you want him?”

Bonnie’s eyes go wide, another secret shattered. Then Caroline’s watching Bonnie’s eyes dilate, feeling her skin warm and the skip-thud of Bonnie’s heart. And she can’t help but lean in because this all feels like a dream. The way the drops of rain glitter like exploding stars as they fall on Bonnie’s skin, the warmth of her lips against Caroline’s thumb, the heated wetness of her breath as those lips part.

It’s just a dream.

Lips, indescribable, against Caroline’s. Warmth and thudding heartbeat against thudding heartbeat. Hands on the swell of Caroline’s hips, pulling them together. A sigh. The parting of lips.

The scent.

It pummels Caroline like a giant wave, thick, heady and musky, clean and fresh like the rain. A mewl, a moan, no, a growl. Bonnie stiffens in Caroline’s arms and Caroline’s eyes snap open at the taste of blood in her mouth.

Bonnie’s blood.

Bonnie shoves and Caroline stumbles backwards. All Caroline’s ever wanted and it’s gone. Because Caroline’s changed.

It’s not a dream. It’s worse - it’s a nightmare.

Bonnie’s already walking backwards, eyes wide with shock, worse, fear, her hand to her mouth, fingers covering the flesh Caroline cut.

Caroline, feral wail unleashing from her throat, turns and runs. She’d been walking for hours, in an instant, she’s back at her empty home, practically tearing the door to her bedroom off the hinges as she slams it shut. She paces in a near frenzy, the ache within her a bottomless well now. There’s no going back now, no way to undo what’s been done.

And she can still smell her, still taste her, her heart still hammers in her chest, the ache still pulses between her legs. Like ‘The Telltale Heart’, her sex pulses and throbs because Bonnie’s everywhere and Caroline can’t stop thinking about her. Until it’s no longer an ache, it’s an urge, a *need*. Hunger but worse.

Caroline pulls the IV bags from their hiding places, tears into them with fingers, teeth and fangs. Blood. The precious blood. She gorges herself, slurping and gulping, blood sluicing down her chin, until her stash is gone.

And all that’s left is the hunger. The hunger for *her*.

Caroline screams in frustration. She didn’t want this. Didn’t ask for this. But this is all she has left now, the blood, the pain, the ache. And still, Caroline can taste her, can still taste Bonnie’s blood on her tongue, can still smell her scent so deeply like it’s down in her bones.

She tears at her clothes to sate the urges the blood won’t satisfy. On hands and knees, she thrusts a hand between her legs, three fingers deep into her sex and Caroline pushes and pushes and pushes..

The orgasm freight train hits her. Forehead to the floor, body shuddering from the aftershocks and she finally feels the pain between her legs from flesh rendered raw. Caroline nothing more than bloodied, cold and alone.

Always alone.

She cries in the shower, tears mixing with the blood circling down the drain. It doesn’t make her feel better, crying never does, just leaves her feeling empty, drained.

There’s still the mess in her room when she finishes her shower, torn clothes, emptied IV bags, blood on the floor. Caroline ignores it all. It will still be waiting for in the morning. Hair still damp from the shower, she slides onto her bed, pulls up the sheets as she rolls onto her side and curls into a ball.

She can still smell Bonnie as she closes eyes flooding once again with tears, praying that just for tonight she won’t dream. She prays that maybe, just for tonight, when she closes her eyes..

She won’t be alone.

END


End file.
